So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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