its not stalking. its research.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
