we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
