Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
