I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
