I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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