i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
