I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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