I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
