things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
