I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
