I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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