how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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