Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
