Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My balls are so social today.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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