Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize