Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
