Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize