so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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