I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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