I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize