We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
