his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize