C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
