why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
