Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
