Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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