Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
