I cockslap morals
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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