Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
