Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
