Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize