HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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