she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
