I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
