Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Couch. On fire.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
