Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Damn victory sex feels great
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize