i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize