He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
