He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
