There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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