i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
