you would pick up someone in the library
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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