I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
