You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize