Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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