Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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