I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
