He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
