im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
