No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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