White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize