party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
