At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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