did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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