think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
