she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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