Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just want nice things and good sex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
