I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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