so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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