I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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