I'm so fucking centered right now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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