The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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