coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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